Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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