I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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