I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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