I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
