I wanna bring you to show and tell
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
