Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
