We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
