Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize