Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
