Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
