Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
