So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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