If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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