how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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