what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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