my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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