Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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