I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
