I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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