i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
