capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and she was petting her beer can
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize