I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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