we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize