I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
