New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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