Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
