If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
