For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
