Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize