I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
