i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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