Someone shit on the floor
Fuck appropriateness.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
