new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
