people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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