ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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