Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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