why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
