ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
