its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
