I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
