dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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