im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
