porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
