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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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