Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
