could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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