We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
