So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
