But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
