her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
