this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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