Porn is love you can see.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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