Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
