...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
