I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
