If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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