There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
