I'm jealous of your bromance
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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