I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
