I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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