you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
