you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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