I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
