Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My liver just had a heart attack.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
