You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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