I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
