that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
