spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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