you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
