Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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