Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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