I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
