my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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