I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
