There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
