We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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