I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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