Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
