did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
