im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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